Hello. I wrote in my last post a little bit about self-care and learning to love myself a little bit more. Most days it is a great struggle to get out of bed, let alone getting dressed and putting on makeup etc. However it is one-act that makes me feel better on the outside, even if on the inside I feel like I am rotting away a little bit. My visual identity and appearance has always been super important to me. Its how I express my self and it shows how I am and a bit of who I am. I associate an image with myself that my illness often strips away from me. I have struggled to come to terms with this a lot. As superficial as it sounds, being chronically ill and therefore having a puffed up, painful sick body just doesn’t fit in with “me”. It really isn’t a good/cool/hip look at all. Add disease and drug induced weight gain, hair loss and acne to the mix I often feel like I have lost me and my identity. Over the years I have found my style, adopted it because of this. I reach for the more comfy, materials that make me feel cosy and warm and that hide the bits of me I don’t wish to show. I am starting to accept a little bit about the way I know look and how this has changed and would very much like to start making positive changes to improve it (diet, learning to accept and soft excercise when I can). Saying that I would also like to remove some of the pressure I already put on myself about how I think I should be or look. My body is under enough pressure and shit as it is already. I think I need to enjoy the act of dressing and feeling like me, even if it’s a version I don’t recognise any more. Yay for comfort, finding ones new and already existing style and feeling comfortable in one’s skin, even if that skin isn’t brilliant and ones bones are achey. It’s the little things that make me feel better and if I can fool myself and others into looking that bit better that is a good thing.