Outfit favourites- The capsule wardrobe

I don’t know about you but I always like my clothes better when I have to go away somewhere and I have only packed my very favourite things. I always feel better and more comfortable and its always so much easier getting dressed. Things that I know I like and have been well thought out before hand. So I am starting a new little life project, starting with my clothes. I have already had a massive grand sort out and have given a lot away to charity and will sell further things on at the flea market/ebay and Depop, so look out! However I can do more. Here is the shocking bit. I won’t be buying any more clothes, makeup, jewelry, shoes or bags for 6 months. I am allowed to replace things that I use up/ or break/ or are beyond repair. I want to mend and make more and become less of a consumer of cheap, badly made clothes and things. I have more than enough things that I don’t wear of have forgotten about and I really need to save and start getting rid of things in my life. My flat is a hoarders paradise and I want to live with the things I enjoy, love, have use for or make me happy. I also feel massively guilty about my consumeristic habits and also find my self buying things when I am unhappy or sad or need to feel better and that isn’t right. I also do not like the culture of having to buy the next big thing or trend and forgetting what I like and what my style is. I am also very impulsive with buying clothes and I would like to become more considered. So here is a start of a little project where I remix my wardrobe and start wearing or getting rid of things I do not feel fit in. I want to document the outfits and ways in which I can mix things up and re wear. I also want to start budgeting better and becoming more conscious of things and less of a broken pocket. I have written before that I love the idea of ones own uniform and mine definitely consists of comfy trainers, black and something denim. I love clothes and dressing up, also I love makeup for the same reason. It makes me feel like me when I put my favourite outfit together and am not wearing pj’s or leggings (this is my daily uniform as of late).

Here are some funny/awks/silly photos of me.

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Coat- gifted second hand / Mustard cardy- Independent shop in Gracia / Denim dress- Monki / Heart shirt- Pull & Bear / Watch- Withings / Shoes- Nike / Bag- Cambridge satchel company.

Outfit- comfy favourites

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DSCF5152Coat- Oysho / Tshirt- H&M / necklace &otherstories / Jeans Monki / Boots- Office / Bag- Cambridge satchel company.


Hello. I wrote in my last post a little bit about self-care and learning to love myself a little bit more. Most days it is a great struggle to get out of bed, let alone getting dressed and putting on makeup etc. However it is one-act that makes me feel better on the outside, even if on the inside I feel like I am rotting away a little bit. My visual identity and appearance has always been super important to me. Its how I express my self and it shows how I am and a bit of who I am. I associate an image with myself that my illness often strips away from me. I have struggled to come to terms with this a lot. As superficial as it sounds, being chronically ill and therefore having a puffed up, painful sick body just doesn’t fit in with “me”. It really isn’t a good/cool/hip look at all. Add disease and drug induced weight gain, hair loss and acne to the mix I often feel like I have lost me and my identity. Over the years I have found my style, adopted it because of this. I reach for the more comfy, materials that make me feel cosy and warm and that hide the bits of me I don’t wish to show. I am starting to accept a little bit about the way I know look and how this has changed and would very much like to start making positive changes to improve it (diet, learning to accept and soft excercise when I can). Saying that I would also like to remove some of the pressure I already put on myself about how I think I should be or look. My body is under enough pressure and shit as it is already. I think I need to enjoy the act of dressing and feeling like me, even if it’s a version I don’t recognise any more. Yay for comfort, finding ones new and already existing style and feeling comfortable in one’s skin, even if that skin isn’t brilliant and ones bones are achey. It’s the little things that make me feel better and if I can fool myself and others into looking that bit better¬†that is a good thing.

 

My week in photos- 5

What a week! This little project/series/diary has really made me realise that even if the majority of the time is a bit (a lot) shit the best bits and things are about stopping and appreciating the small little tiny details and capturing them, holding onto ones breath just to breathe it in and saviour it all. Time goes so so fast and in a blur and its easy to get stuck in it all and just trudge along. So this week, lets start with the not so good:

  • Monday starts with stressed trips to the hospital (typical Sarie style I wrote down the wrong time). Also scary MRI results (bleed in my spinal cord and having lesions on it). Also bad bad back pain and a buggered knee that just won’t give up. Finding out that the strong medication is not doing the trick and walking into my consultants office to find 6 dr’s al wanting to study you because you are such a weird rarity. Scary stuff.
  • Scary test results resulting in yet more tests and uncertainty. I now have to visit a neurologist as have CNS involvement to add to my list of ever-growing symptoms. More MRI and more medication. More doctors and more diagnosis’ and more puzzle solving. I have had enough of this.
  • Bed has been a place I have been for 80% of this week (these pictures and weekly posts are quite deceiving!). My body has felt like sludgy led iron and the tiredness (plus pain, mouth ulcers, burning face and flu-like symptoms). These do not make for great pictures though.
  • Behind on my drawing project and being so uptight about trying to produce the impossible and not letting my self off the hook. I am too ambitious and then end up being late and not doing anything at all.
  • Bad moods and black clouds. I get angry, ashamed and feel so trapped and stuck with this all. I also have the imposter syndrome and constantly feel like I don’t deserve stuff or that I am not good enough.
  • Feeling isolated with my illustration stuff and work and like the above point illustrates. I JUST DON’T FEEL GOOD ENOUGH. Also working on it alone with NO feedback is hard. I just don’t know if what I am doing is achieving anything or if it is any good. I am finding it really hard to judge my own work and have lost all confidence in my self (thanks to health and other traumatic stressful situations which I will write about in the future when I can ;))
  • News on having to go to a tribunal to be judged by people who don’t know me on whether I am sick or not. This is so stressful and scary. I know I have all the facts behind me. I just want this all to be resolved and to feel better. I don’t want this unknown hanging over me. Its one of my trigger points for anxiety and such a cause of stress and worry.
  • Being that flakey annoying friend who can’t ever keep a date or a promise.

Lets get onto the GOOD things:

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The view from my hospital is pretty spectacular. Also my medical team are amazing and have seen me and are working so hard and are so passionate and amazing really.

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My dearest most -querido- Poblenou. I love this place so much. Its industrial glory (it was once all waste land and old factories).

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Can we just take a moment to look at these great textures, colours and lines? Its spotting little details like these that make me happy.
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This week has been one of spotting great vans. I love old vans. I want one, and often day-dream about travelling around in one and stopping off at the most amazing places. One day!

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Finding really good little places tucked away inside of old warehouses. Pretty foliage and good installations (see bird houses <3).

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Sushi for lunch when I am too tired/ill to cook!

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Going to an event with my partner in crime Borja . He was invited to a Instagram Spain event. Free food(!!). I was umming and ahhing about going (didn’t feel up to it and guilt about doing anything). So glad I went though. We were totally awkward and joked around together in the corner and ate all the free food. It was so nice to get out for a few hours and just be doing something a little different from hospital or lying in bed. The place was amazing. Its places like this that is why I love Poblenou so so much. It’s also good for me to try to do semi normal things, even if it did mean straight to bed after only a few hours out. Had the best time though, thanks Instagram!

IMG_2882 IMG_2883Finally sorting out little prints and all of my illustrations!

IMG_2906 IMG_2909Oh the moon and night-time walks to the beach with my little family. I need these mini adventures to clear my head and feel like me again. The moon oh the moon. How can you not feel better by seeing this big guiding light in the sky?

IMG_2966My outfits are literally just the most comfortable things that I own. I don’t think I have worn proper shoes in so long now and just live in trainers. These are new, a present from the sales.IMG_2977My little family keeping me sane, I am not the nicest to be around when I am so ill and in pain. I am like a grumpy old woman. It’s these two that are always by my side. Thank you both, I would be lost without you. (even if I am a grumpy beast 99% of the time!)

IMG_2994 IMG_3002February has been a month of focusing on little favourite things and birds are top of my list. I do love them, and drawing them too. Swans and magpies. Ideas swirling around in my brain.

IMG_3019IMG_3029RAIN, it has really rained like it only can here in Barcelona. I’ve enjoyed the wet and damp so so much. Pretty pavements and reflections.

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Lastly enjoying how weird people and things are in this city. Very random and strange.

WIWT Illustrated…

Hallo hallo!

A little quick post to just show you one of my favourite outfits uniforms as of late. Its really HOT here and I feel all flustered and sweaty and ill and I don’t know what to wear. Ever. My body does not do this heat at all.

Life has been a bit blah as of late, I am still sick and achey and now have horrible stomach cramps as a result of all my medication. I do not feel like being photographed so I decided to draw my outfit and throw in a sort of journal entry. I enjoyed doing this and it didn’t take long. I might even churn out some more if you are lucky (no promises though obvs haha).

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Shorts- H&M (live in these!), Cami- H&M, Denim Jacket- Monki, Sandals- Saltwater (gold!), bag- Kanken, Came’s collar- Models own.

Outfit : DENIM innit!

wornHola! Its CHILLY! Yes finally. I always start any post with a weather update, like the only way I know how. Anyway onwards.

Denim owns my little blue heart. I love it so, its history and versatility. This blue dream is from Monki. Monki being another favourite of mine. Its made of a stiff denim and is my go to whenever I want to feel better about myself. I like to mix and match it with tights and a good winter knit, boots and a jacket. Here it is layered to the max. This is one of my classic wardrobe staples.

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Jacket-MONKI/ Scarf-PULL&BEAR/ Dress-MONKI/ Boots-Dr Martens/ Bag-KANKEN/ Cardy-PULL&BEAR.
Socks-ZARA (sparkly and gold!). Crinkled and windswept.

Worn: A uniform start in Portugal

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Worn: Grey tshirt (H&M), Denim Shirt (H&M), grey Sweatshirt (Monki), Parka (Monki), Scarf (Pull&bear), Headscarf (H&M),
boots (DR Martens), Backpack (Kanken)


I have returned from “El Pueblo” (AKA the end of the end of the world). I will write later about how very important it was for me to get back to where I need to be and who I am.

Anyway Portugal was amazing as ever, but cold. The type of cold that settles in your bones and doesn’t leave. Many a layers were needed and I was still cold.

I have been thinking about my personal style and what I like and what makes me me for a while now. I am finding that I am going for more staple simple things and things that I know will last me beyond a season. A lot of the time I find my self reaching for the same kind of thing. I appreciate well cut things and also my obsession with denim knows no bounds (only rival to be*witched haha!). I like greys and autumnal colours mixed with mustard yellow. I also like sturdy things and clothes that hold up well when either cycling, on a walk or painting and printing. If you know me well I am often covered with a stain of some sort. I also like to play with classic shapes (parka, headscarf) and mix masculine and feminine things. I am planning to do a bit of a series as I embark on a quest to not actually spend any more money on clothes. I need to make my own, buy second hand or just buy absolute necessities or staples. No excuses! I need to save and stop the clothes buying binging guilt (this applies to cosmetics and beauty items too!).

What I wore: a bank holiday edition.

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Worn: Monki Jacket, Muji gingham smock dress, Newbalance 420 trainers & a vintage bag.

 

September is drawing to a close and it feels like its finally Autumn. I am writing this post tucked away in my little studio as the heavens open up and it is raining biblically. Its one of those delightful Sundays were you stay in all day catching up on tv and youtube/blogs and the like. Currently dressed in warm cosies and feeling snug is quite nice. It almost makes you wistful for the fresh breezes and dappled sunlight days that early September brings; meaning bare legs and fun dresses (as depicted on a fine Bank Holiday “Fiesta” Wednesday). Making the most of that before its all tights, jeans and layers and having to pack away summer dresses for another year.
Along with the end of September brings the promise of cooler months and autumnal(ish) clothing. I start to know how to dress and thus feel a lot more like myself. Ever happy with layering and wearing a jacket and being more covered up. Casual Sunday lunches and walks with the puppy-wonder make for laid back sartorial choices. Just the way I like it.

PS: lots-o-photos because my Pup is quite the cute one so it makes it hard to choose!