Life lately…

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Hello! Its been a while since I have sat with my laptop and opened up this little white box to write an update. The week in photos came to a stop for a while after the last round of treatment as I have been feeling totally whacked out from it, both physically and emotionally. I just haven’t felt like sharing a whole lot. I took a big break from my daily project and everything really and I still feel like I am gathering up the pieces a little bit. However I have missed these updates and diary like entries. I love looking back on them and seeing what I have been up to and reading where I was. I also want this space to be more about my work and what inspires me. My little corner of the internet and my home. I want to make sure that I am updating this place for the right reasons, because I want to and feel like and not because I have a schedule to keep and feel like I ought to. So yep. Weekly updates will most likely continue but they won’t be forced and I will update when and where I wish. Non of that scheduled best time of day blogging for views shite. I love my little blog and want to nuture it and want it to feel natural and like me. I know the blogging world feels dead at some points but I want to do it because I love recording, writing, remembering and creating content. In fact thats one thing I have realised about my self. I LOVE CONTENT CREATING. I want this to feel real and not some weird false instagram version of myself. I think we are all getting a bit bored of the perfectly created sponsored posts right? I get it, blogging and content takes an absolute AGE to do and put together and why should their not be some monetary reward for that? But its making the right, conscious intelligent choices and also not being scared to be different and stand out and have a voice. Its alright if its not all polished, in fact the blogs I love the most are those that show interesting, different things and not in a weird stylized, shiny box. GAH! I needed to get that off my chest. I feel like I can take a step forward now and get back to doing what I love without feeling all the pressure.

So where have I been at? In a black lonely hole to be honest. I haven’t been feeling all too great at all. I have been trying to make the most of my “up” moments by getting out on walks and sitting in my favourite cafe and trying to buck myself up a bit. Its been hard to do and I still feel like I am there. Is it ok to admit that I am not ok? I am not. Just for the record. Not working, not being able to go out, feeling guilty when I do go out, not seeing friends, not having family, being stuck creatively and just feeling in a lot of pain has taken its toll. Funnily enough the moment I start to embark on a project about my illness is when I become stuck and unable to continue and hating everything I do. I think maybe the project is still a bit too raw and I don’t have enough perspective on it to feel great. Alas push through I shall do.

So here are some bits and pieces (that might be the new name of this here feature) of my life lately. Oh and a video from last summer that I hatched together that never saw the light of day.

Back for more next week. I am thinking of doing another weekly what I am working on round up that is separate to this. However not made my mind up yet? What do you think? An illustrators week in photos including bits and pieces or bits and pieces and a separate post with just my work? How have you all been? I hope not in the same black hole as me! <3

 

What Sarie wore #6

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The heat has most definitely arrived. It is sweltering. This was taken a week or so ago when it was still warm but comfy. I have been really enjoying wearing a pop of bright lipstick as of late and am a bit obsessed with the Kat von D tattoo lipsticks. They are amazing. I like that they also brighten my face and make me feel like facing the world a bit more. I am more into wearing black and more neutral colours these days so its nice to add a bit of colour. As you can see I have been mixing things up and doing a wardrobe remix, discovering which bits I wear the most and which bits not so much. Also what I feel good in and what I think suites me. My style has evolved a lot but at the same time stays the same. A mix between a child and a grandma with a bit of utilitarian comfort thrown in. The rest? I am going to sell on depop so watch out soon.
Also just wanted to add that one perk of this no buying clothes thing means that I have had a big sort out and discovered I had these jeans in the back of my wardrobe. I had completely forgotten about them! That is crazy as they were brand new. Its nice to rediscover old gems and bits you didn’t even realise you had. I am going to try and wear bits that I haven’t worn in a while.
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Jacket- Vintage / Cami РH&M / Necklace Р&otherstories / Jeans РMonki / Trainers РNike / Bag РCambridge satchel CO. / Silk Scarf РH&M / Lipstick РKat Von D Liquid tattoo liptick in Berlin. / Brooch Рgift from a lovely friend 

My week in photos 17


Good things:

This week started by going to “the top”, whilst Borja runs I sit and watch the view with this chap. IMG_4285

A few new updates to my shop, some new things added.IMG_4288 IMG_4289

Daily life things like spaghetti and comfy patterns.IMG_4301 IMG_4306

Sketchbooking some idea’s. More on this in another post ūüėČIMG_4316IMG_4327

Felt very lonely and a bit lost this week. My remedy for that is to get my self out of the flat for a walk and an adventure. I need to listen to the warning signs and listen to when things get too much and get out and distract myself.

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A giant massive 8 kilo tortilla de patatas at my neighbours birthday party (convenient social events next door means I can see people and literally go straight to bed!).IMG_4334

This baby boys sleeping smile <3IMG_4272

Walking around Poblenou (love it here).DSCF8379DSCF3900
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Not much to say about this week that isn’t a repeat of last week and the week before that and so on. The treatment has left me really knocked out with very swollen glands and a very swollen knee. I have barely left the house. I did venture out around my barrio of Poblenou though and snapped a few of my favourite bits.
Next week I have the second round of treatment so I am expecting much of the same then. Heres to naps, sleep, comfy beds, puppy hugs and good books.

See you next week xx

A week in photos / Notes from this week 15

Well this week. Not much to say apart from the fact that I have been under such a big black cloud this week battling ugly thoughts, anxiety, illness and other goings on. This has made me feel quite lonely and isolated. So there. Thats all I am going to say on here as I don’t want this blog to be a weekly moan.

There has been some shining lights through the black clouds though. Like having the time to catch up on my Lost girls series and experimenting with different materials etc. Also Saturdays quick outing, to the print studio in Gracia to see a friends work (it was great). Through all this I have realised that I am motivated and a fighter, even if I don’t feel like one. Despite everything I keep going and I am doing well. So yes.

Next week will be treatment week, so a quiet hospital recovering one. Its probably what is needed. I also need to see my family, so will have to arrange that happening.

This weeks glimpses of light (light chasing all the time atm):
1. This message from last week really rings true this week. I should get these as tattoo’s just to remind my self (a la Casey Neistat’s “DO MORE” tatt).IMG_3992IMG_3995

2. My lost girls. I love drawing them and seeing their different characters and stories come to life. I often feel like a lost girl with a lot of stories so I guess this translates into my drawings. I have really enjoyed this week, and working on the tiny postcard size drawings. They will be for sale in my shop next week and through instagram. Watch out for them. IMG_4104 IMG_4097 IMG_4072IMG_4063 IMG_4062 IMG_4058 IMG_4054 IMG_4051 IMG_4050 IMG_4046 IMG_4001 IMG_4034 IMG_4031 IMG_4036

3. Spotting the little tiny details in life.DSCF8017 DSCF8015 DSCF8002 DSCF8019 DSCF8018 DSCF8039 DSCF8072

4. Spontanious adventures and stumbling across good things like Els Gegants.DSCF8026 DSCF8034 DSCF8036 DSCF8037

5. Gracia’s streets and getting lost in them.DSCF8006 DSCF8079 DSCF8099 DSCF8096

6. Random nice/funny things.DSCF8102 DSCF8108 IMG_4040

7. Rainy Barcelona is the best. Its been raining ALL weekend and its been GLORIOUS!DSCF8008

8. Inspiring places and people (even if it was so very crowded).
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9. Watching these naughty birds squawk from my balcony.
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THE END, see you next week ūüôā

 

 

 

April favourites

dearaprilI know April now seems like a while ago, and it is. We are edging further into summer and further away from the cooler months. April has been a funny month for me with highs and lows. There have been little things that have made all the difference and I am going to list some of them below.beautyletteringHaving a skin care routine and putting on a bit of makeup is a ritual that always makes me feel better. Its not because I feel the need to or because I have to. Its something I enjoy, always have done and its something that makes me feel brighter and a bit better. Like I am looking after my self.creamfavouritesA few months ago I was in Sephora with a dear friend when I was testing some products. Something made my terrible sensitive skin flare up loads and it was like I had dipped my hand into acid and also it was so itchy at the same time and came up with a horrible rash that almost blistered. The lovely lady at the counter came to the rescue with this cream on the right.¬†Cr√®me Fraiche¬ģ de Beaut√© Enrichie. I don’t really know what the magic ingredient is in it. It smells wonderfully floral and has something else that I just can’t put my finger on.¬†Once on the skin¬†it was awesome and felt so cooling and soothing on my alergic reaction that I knew I had to buy it. I use it at night time and it leaves my skin so soft and calms any redness I get from the sun (sun alergy here). I was actually in Sephora looking for an eye cream so I knew the Nuxe one would be a good bet and it is. It makes me feel ready for sleep and so nourished.handcreamfaveI picked up this hand cream in Carrefour of all places. It was only 1.99‚ā¨. Its so soothing and smells like honey and doesn’t leave your hands all sticky and greasy. I love the fact it has yoghurt and shea butter in too and its fairly natural. SO good for the price, I will definitely repurchase as I seem to use hand cream loads due to being a messy illustrator and needing to constantly wash my hands.¬†lushfavesMy medication constantly gives me acne around my neck and jaw line. After a month or so of using these products with a hot flannel my skin has totally cleared up. I adore, love and worship¬†Lush¬†a lot, I love what they stand for and their killer products. These two are my very very favourites. Ultra bland is amazing for removing any trace (even waterproof mascara) and just feels so soothing. If my skin is particularly sensitive I will just cleanse with this and nothing else, not even a moisturiser and it seems to restore the balance in my skin a treat. Aqua Marina really cleans, soothes and always gets rid of any impurities. Its like wet clay with herbs when applying and seems to get deep down and dry out any nasties without stripping my skin. I love them both and they are both firmly in my skin care routine.styleandfashionletteringvintagearmyYou have prob’s seen this jacket in my latest OOTD post. I love it so, it been perfect for these in between days where I don’t want to lug around a massive coat but still need to have some warmth. As I mentioned in that post I like how it scruffs up my outfits a bit. Sometimes I can feel a bit too dressy and throwing this on the top makes me instantly feel more me. I got it in the vintage bit of Topshop.IMG_0216This top from Monki is wonderfully frilly and victorian. I love this style of blouse, especially when worn with Denim. Its silky and soft and you can’t really tell from the photo but it has tiny little dots embroidered into it. I love its flouncy sleeves. I feel all Alexa Chung in it, inspired from her series on Vogues youtube channel (something I am going to get to in a bit).necklaceThis necklace from &otherstories¬†was gifted to me and I love it. I love its simplicity and the length and thickness of its chain. Oh and its gold <3dungareedressMy black Monki dungaree dress owns a large part of my heart. Its so versatile, comfy and just makes me feel like me, but a 5 year old me. I love it.toolsletteringpenfavouritesL-R: 1 & 4 Windsor and Newton Water colour pens. They are amazing double ended pens that when mixed with water give an amazing texture. I love brush lettering with them. 2. Is my trusty mechanical pencil from Muji. Its my favourite drawing instrument ever and I have about 5 and a million refills. Just in case. 3. Faber and castle 1.0 mechanical pencil I also really like this, more for going over lines and being a little bolder.instagramslettinginstafaves@bowieseye (the best name IMO!) I love Julia’s sweet illustration style and simple lines and oh the colours. ¬† / @maiuki¬†Naia and her cute (best dressed) daughter. Naia makes/knits amazing kids clothes. I want her life! / @tincanhomestead¬†This couple are super amazing. Natasha of @nastashalawler illustration fame. They travelled the states in a VW van called WesVanderson (brilliant!) and they are now doing up an airstream. Her style is incredible and I love love this project so much. Watching the progress is so cool. / @rynfrank I have been following this lady and her illustrations online for years under the name Katt Frank. I recently discovered that she changed her name and had a bit of a rebrand. I love love her IG feed so much, so perfectly curated. I can’t wax on enough about how much I love her illustrations and lines. I adore them.

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And the rest. Youtubes I have been enjoying. Netflix series and books.

  • Elly Pears Fast and feast days
  • This Joy Division documentary on Netflix has reignited my love for this band and brings back memories of my student days dancing and sweating in grotty northern clubs.
  • This series on netflix, Love. (are you sensing a theme yet. I’ve had a lot of tv watching time ok!)
  • Helen’s vlogs. Love them, she is brassy and honest and bold and so her.
  • This amazing series presented by the super cool mega babe that is Alexa Chung
  • IAN CURTIS IN GENERAL and this¬†film.
  • I have been a fan of Sarra Manning since her diary of a crush/J17 days. Her latest book was read in a few days. Loved it.

So that was April. This post literally took a day to do. What have your favourites been? How was your April? I am off to bed now. Night (or good morning when you are reading this)

My week in photos / Notes from this week 14

So this week. It started at the hospital, as most of my weeks seem to do. And ended in some sort of despair. My mental health has been really hit and shattered this week. I blame feeling so bloody useless and stuck and not being able to live the life I want to at the moment. Also I have had bloody enough of medication, hospitals, dr’s, pain, tiredness and being a hermit “recuperating”. At the moment I can barely manage normal life, I mean getting up out of bed and getting dressed. I have had a black cloud over my head and feel like I have been slipping into a black vortex that pulls me under at a speed unknown to man. I try with all my might to turn off the thoughts and feelings of not feeling good enough, the worthlessness and loneliness but it all gets too much. So after speaking with my darling sister and having all the tears I decided that enough was enough and that I would try and dust myself off and do little tiny things that make me happy. I know I need to get out and not isolate myself so much, and learn how to turn down the volume of these bad whirring thoughts a little. I need to avoid these massive gaping sink holes that appear. So that was fairly honest and open, I am really not sure why I insist in writing such personal posts but its what happens when I type in this white box. I am forever an over sharer.

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Monday 7.00 am MRI scan, the weirdest feeling laying in a noisy tunnel to start of the week. I was in there for ages, so used to them now. I nearly slept and actually was quite the mediative experience. My hospital is right on the beach which means I step out and have this view. Its like some sort of oxymoron. I like it though. MRI’s and the dye they use make me very dizzy so I always appreciate the fresh sea air and view. Repeat all this for Tuesday.

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By Wednesday I had decided enough was enough and ventured out on my painful puffy knee (I had some sort of keyhole surgery last week, where I had this weird radioactive liquid inserted to clean the knee joint). My knee is still the same as it was before but any way I NEED to get out and see the world a bit. Walks to the local park with my pup are everything as are pretty flower shops and green leaves.

IMG_3876Spying this message and I think this should be my mantra, this made me wake up a little and really think that yes, it is true and I can choose what happens to me here and now. I must remember this! I love whoever has written this everywhere.

IMG_3940 IMG_3920 IMG_3885 IMG_3883 IMG_3945To be honest not much time has been spent in my studio this week, in fact I have ignored it and not really had the energy to go in. Having a creative block and creative crisis also feeling like whatever I do is not what I want to create and uninspired. I think this contributes a lot to my emotional state and vice versa. I need to get in the studio and just play and let go a little. Its ok to have a break and be behind and not have everything so controlled and planned.

DSCF5467 DSCF5468 DSCF5471 DSCF5473 DSCF5472So by the time Saturday arrived I couldn’t wait to get out and have a little date day with my Borja. It was a very grey day, after having rained all night and the sky kept threatening to rain. My favourite kind of day. I took these photos to remind my self to continuously look up and see the beauty that surrounds me. Barcelona is a beaut of a city, it really is. The history that surrounds everything is quite magical. So Sarie, don’t forget to look up and appreciate everything a little bit more.

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IMG_3977DSCF5429 DSCF5428 DSCF5426This is one of my very favourite little pockets in Barcelona, it reminds me of a scene of a book and the atmosphere is so good.

DSCF5433 DSCF5441 DSCF5438 DSCF5443These streets. I love just exploring and being in them and appreciating all its beautiful chaos. I also love the mundane every day bits of life, like hearing voices, seeing people chat on their mobile phones on their balconies, washing drying etc. I also love the pretty bits like flags and lights.

DSCF5444 DSCF5446 DSCF5450 DSCF5454 DSCF5457Unintentional beauty everywhere. Appreciating this city much more these days.

DSCF5429 IMG_3979 IMG_3977 DSCF5469Also look at all the small beautiful details, that you will find if you look hard enough.
DSCF5473 DSCF5474 IMG_3975IMG_3966 IMG_3965 IMG_3964 IMG_3963 IMG_3947La Virreina is one of my favourite places in Barcelona. Just off the chaotic, soulless Ramblas you will find this hidden gem of a building that encases a beautiful (free!!) gallery. I love its grandeur and the fact its peaceful space. We saw a brilliant exhibition on social documentary of Barcelona. It made me think how many beings this cities buildings and landscapes have seen. How many stories have unfolded. It makes you feel quite small actually.

We had very good burgers for lunch. Love going on lunch dates very much. Also love a good burger and this one I can recommend. Bocoa burger, a new one to add to my list.DSCF5462 DSCF5463After lunch we strolled (hobbled) down to La Central. This has become a bit of a tradition to browse this shop on a Saturday. Its one of my happy places. I love looking at all the illustrated novels/comics.
IMG_3969 IMG_3973 IMG_3968 IMG_3967This original Keith Haring wall <3

IMG_3944 DSCF5432 DSCF5431 DSCF5430Small little details!

So what was a total bummer of a week actually turned out alright, and I think that is key. Finding what makes you happy and doing it, no matter how hard it might be to do. We all need to appreciate things, live in the here and now and think about what makes us happy. For me its about appreciating the small moments and snippets and not always wanting more. Its being happy with what I have and aiming to make things better but not always looking at what I don’t have and want and trying to constantly grasp at it in the future tense. Its great to have aspirations and dreams and all that but I do think its a bit of the millennial curse is that we are never happy with our lot and constantly having to better ourselves and not taking the time to breathe and appreciate our lot. SO here is me taking a conscious step to live a little more in the moment and the here and now. See you next week!

Notes from this week/ my week in photos 12

This week has been much the same as the weeks before that. Hospitals, bed and trying to get little things done and producing things that make me happy. Spring/summer has definitely arrived. Its hot, this scares me. I hate the heat.
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My lovely stripey covers and my little doggy noodle. And trying to read as much as I can. Very interested in war time novels at the moment. Especially based around the London Blitz. Also recipe and cook books. I love the Elly Pear book thats just come out- yum!

DSCF5203 DSCF5204 IMG_3618IMG_3616¬†I had to go to Hospital de l’Esperanza in the north of the city (near Parc Guell). I had never really ventured up this way before besides visting the park. The buildings and every thing felt so different than other parts of the city. I had to have a few scans and was done fairly quickly (not the usual occurrence in hospital-land).IMG_3622
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It was fairly near Gracia, so I decided to walk very down very slowly. I adore this part of the city. Carrer Verdi on a week day is such a nice place to be. The weather was so glorious (breezy and cool in the shade but sunny and warm-not too hot). Everything in bloom. I spied some pretty shops, cafes and buildings. I stopped in a cafe that had nice tiles and wall colour.IMG_3629 IMG_3633 IMG_3634 IMG_3636
In the 9 years that I have lived in Barcelona I have always spied the flower market on Valencia but have never ever been inside. Its pretty cool. I did think it was bigger than it actually is though, but cool and pretty all the same. I then got my tired and achey legs on the bus home where I flopped into bed hugging my pup. I don’t get why or how he can stand being under the covers:
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I made a very good, if I do say so myself, shepherds pie. Yum!

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I am enjoying drawing people a lot, even if they are a little weird. I like to imagine these girls in their own weird lost worlds. Floating on their own lonely islands. Its nice to get my hands messy and to feel like I am creating something.

IMG_3677 IMG_3686 IMG_3687 IMG_3688 IMG_3689 IMG_3690A small little stroll was made up to The Top. Aka one of my all time favourite places ever. I love how it feels to have the city at ones feet and to be above it all in the fresh, cool air and survey all the city and its goings on. Its so meditative to be there for me and its been months since I have been able to go. I do love it so so much.

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I had to pop into the centre to get some supplies. Paper and the like. I love Raima so so much, it really is a treasure of a shop. It is a paper supply, stationary shop in a really old street in Barcelona. It is on two different levels, with the more traditional stationary on the ground floor and the paper supply on the second floor. Its a paper lovers dream. I love how much character it has and the staff are lovely too.

DSCF5304 DSCF5308 DSCF5309 DSCF5339Pretty Barcelona streets. I also love visiting El Borne and El Gotic too. Getting lost in tiny dark streets, always discovering the weird and the wonderful.

So that was my week, I love how it looks so busy and fun. The other bits I don’t really show. It has been nice to get out a bit. I have had to cancel plans and be bad because I have felt so very tired though, and therefor have actually spent most of the week in bed- again.

This weeks Good things:
Spring (blossom against blue skies, lighter evenings, pretty light and wearing spring jackets)
Sitting on terraces having a coffee
Going on a few walks around the barrio
Planning for future things and feeling like: i can do this!
A few head revelations- good at realising things again and thinking clearly. Feeling stronger mentally than I have in a while. Black cloud is almost clearing!
Chats with friends and family on whatsap.

Next week: Knee op, MRI’s, Doctors appointments and lots of netflix I predict.