This old week most certainly has not been a great one. One of those weeks to write off really. I sometimes write about how difficult it is living with a chronic illness. You feel like the biggest flake in life, that you are constantly letting everyone (including yourself) down by shrugging everything off to while away your time under the duvet. The pain and the fog and tiredness are indescribable and to say “I am tired and in pain” never seem enough to describe what it is actually like. This week has been soups, drawing where I can (its my escape and the only thing that makes me feel productive and like me), trips to the centre to stock up on lush (baths are my saviour!), scary MRI scans and yet more doctors visits. I haven’t picked up my camera all week, because well, I have been in a sore coma state and not really wanted to do anything. A lot of the time I don’t really want to make much of a fuss about being ill, and it doesn’t really notice on the outside (apart from the hobbling and mong like state). I like to keep it that way, I don’t want to feel stigmatised by it all, although I am on the inside. Good things, however, have been meeting with my lovely Silje, walks around the park listening to a multitude of podcasts (Serial, Womens hour, This american life) and Netflix (Luther again!). Its also been drawing and dreaming up future plans and goals for when I am better (If I am better). The cold and the grey have finally arrived here and its been nice to go out all bundled up. I decided to make Friday my getting up and going out day as I had to go into the centre to collect my MRI results and also had other medical like errands to run (doctors and the like).
I wanted to do the day in the life photo diary by taking a photo hourly but some of the time was stuck in a doctors waiting room or trying to rest and ignore being in such pain so here are some “glimpses” of my day.
8.30 am Woken up with a cup of tea in bed. Is there anything better than this? NO!
9.30 am (Yes it takes me a full hour to warm up my body and to be able to move in the morning). Finally up and out and a quick circuit of the local park to take the pup out. It is both a blessing and a curse having a dog when you feel like this. Its amazing because it forces you to get outside and in the fresh air and a tiny bit of soft exercise. But on the other hand its so hard to move and walk when you are in pain (I would liken it to knives stabbing your joints and being so wooden and stiff that each step is like running a marathon). Its good to get out though and notice the world around you and enjoy the fact it has rained after a 90 day drought in Barcelona.
10am- Time for breakfast (Marmite on toast and a cup of coffee)
11am- Some planning and yet another cup of coffee (did I mention I am
TIRED have chronic fatigue).
Time to do my daily drawing. Todays love/inspiration comes from right outside my window
13:00pm House chores and general pottering about at home. I liked the way my clean washing looked together. Good textures and colours. A little sit down with my pup.
14:00pm Time to get showered and dressed. A mammoth task in itsself. Always makes me feel better though.
2:30 And I am ready to go! See you can’t really tell there is anything wrong and I look “normal” or “you don’t look sick/ pero tienes buena cara).
15:00- 16:30 Not pictured as I had to go to the doctors and also had lunch at my inlaws (Soup and croquetas!)
16:45- In the centre and ready to pick up my results
17:20- Time to meet with my lovely Silje for an early tea and chats. We went to Flax & Kale. It was my first time there. Alright, not totally amazing and a bit hyped up. My “english muffin” was quite dry and the service was a bit too “I am too cool and hipster to serve”, also it was quite pricey and slow for what it was and would’ve enjoyed a bigger menu choice. It was pleasant enough though and the place was super pretty. But a bit style over substance IMO.
18:30- We decided after the “healthy” snack we would need to indulge. My lovely twin Camille once told me about this good Doughnut place called “Donuteria”. And it really did the trick. It was quite a walk/hobble there (what with my bad joints and Silje being nearly ready to pop)..
19:15 We arrived and it more than lived up to the recommendation!
Long chats and having someone to listen to my silly rambles is such a good medicine for me and I am so grateful that I have a few friends/sisters that I can do this with. And off back home on the metro and changed back into my pj’s and back in bed I went. Content and happy I was able to have one day of feeling like Sarie.
Sorry not sorry if this was a bit too honest and moany. I want these weeks to be a honest memory of my time.